In Bloom Doula Services

It’s hard to say I have a favorite birth experience since all of my births have been positive, empowering, safe and healthy. They all gave me beautiful children that I adore, but if I had to pick. Birdies is my favorite. And it’s a lot different than my other births too!

Quick recap: Holden and Waylon’s labors we’re very straight to the point. Contractions began and I was instantly in active labor. My water broke and then they came out. Both times I had been incredibly irritable leading up to labor beginning. Holden’s because we were 8 days over due, and Waylon because I had been in so much pain. With Ruston I had 2 membrane sweeps and walked around for days at 4 cm. expecting labor at any moment, which also made me irritable. This made me feel incredibly guilty while in labor with Ruston because I felt horrible for losing my temper with me kids just hours before. Ruston’s labor started with my water breaking, but again once contractions started labor got intense and was pretty short. Waylon and Ruston were both about 4 hours. So I figured I knew exactly what to expect. But I was wrong.

On Monday, September 5th is was Labor Day, and I woke up with very mild, inconsistent contractions. This was a little surprising to me since I was only 39 weeks and 2 days. Never did I expect to go “early,” which kind of stressed me out because I had a whole to-do list ready to go for the week and I’ve never gone early before. Assuming they would surely pick up soon and that we’d have a baby within hours, I tried to get ready. I let my team know. Sent Nathan to run errands we needed done and finally finished her part of the nursery. But 6,7,8 hours go by with no changes. I decided to take my own advice and rest and spent the rest of the day and evening napping and staying hydrated, and then eventually it was night again and I went to bed feeling kind of frustrated. But I tried to keep my attitude in check because didn’t want labor to begin with any negativity like before.

I woke up multiple times throughout the night with very noticeable contractions, and I tried to time them to see if there was a pattern, but my app even popped up a notification that said “you are not in active labor.” Sometimes I’d fall asleep waiting on the next contraction. When 6 am rolled around I got up to get Holden ready for school and sent Nathan to work since no progress had happened. I had it planned to call my doula at 8:30 to touch base, and ended up just laying in bed until then feeling random contractions and praying the boys stayed asleep.

At 8:30 I called my doula and we made a game plan of waiting until noon and then we’d try some things to get labor really going. But on the phone I had a contraction that stood out and a couple more every 10 minutes, then every 8, and finally we had a pattern. They were getting longer and stronger too; lasting 60 seconds instead of 30. So I called my team again and my sister in laws to come over and hang out with the boys while I labored and waited for Nathan to come home from work. I bounced on my ball, but avoided moving too much until he was there. I was afraid to encourage labor and then have it progress too quickly.

Thankfully it was the perfect progression. Around 11:30 we decided to head to Bliss, the birth center. My oldest son, Holden had been excited to come to his baby sister’s birth for a long time, but my middle son Waylon was on the fence. He said he wanted to go, but once I put 101 Dalmatians on for Ruston he decided to stay and watch the movie. He will never live that down in my mind.

Once we got to bliss things went very similarly to Ruston’s birth. I labored in the same room as before, which made it that much more special. I like to labor leaning and swaying, and eventually end up on the bed doing “open knee chest.” This time though my labor was much smoother than Ruston’s because my water was intact, there was less pressure and it was just not as intense. So I resumed all my tried and true positions as a couple hours went by.

Usually I have a birth playlist that never gets played because I forget and am just too focused on the moment, but this time I had my music going and it was so special. Songs that have been my labor songs since I had Holden, and I’ve sang over each of my babies. Songs I listened to after my losses and then through my pregnancies with my “rainbow babies.” This led to a lot of tears flowing and a very emotional few hours of labor. I’ve wanted a daughter my entire life; dreamed of the day I’d get to have a baby girl and all that mothering a daughter would entail. Now I’m on the cusp of meeting her, surrounded by wa room full of people who have been with me through most if not all of my pregnancies and labors, and know very intimately all that I’d been through leading up to this. My husband, my doula, midwife, birth photographer, my sister in laws. I never went a second in labor not feeling supported, safe and capable.

After hours of labor around and on the bed I wanted to try the tub. Ruston was born in the water, which I loved, but it took me a bit to find my place in the tub. Once I got comfortable I didn’t want to get out, and that was the same experience this time. I got in the tub facing the windows, still listening to my music as contractions got closer and closer and stronger and stronger. I looked out the window and saw 2 birds right outside, and got overwhelmed with emotions all over again. Since my miscarriage in 2019, cardinals have always been a symbol of my angel baby to me. Then after my ectopic pregnancy I felt like I always saw cardinals in sets of two. Two sitting on my fence in my back yard, two fly across the road on our way to church. Sets of two stood out to me all the time, in everything: flowers, butterflies, pumpkins, two humming birds at my feeder in the mornings. To me that’s just little reminders of them, and signs that they’re with me, and to see the two sitting there moments before meeting my baby girl was so special to me.

Yes, there were lots of tears and emotions, but it wasn’t a sad experience. It was so peaceful and calm. Up until the point I had to push at least, then my labor noises amplified. I felt pushy, but she was still high. I contemplated asking my midwife to break my water, but I didn’t want to get out of the tub. I also kind of wanted to have an encaul birth, and figured she was close either way. With each contraction I tried to push her down more and more, until there was a pop and my water broke all on its own at 2:54. I said “oh my water broke!!” And then instantly felt the pressure of her head between my bones. Then had the surreal realization that I actually had to push her head through my body, into that pressure. This internal battle ensued of not wanting to lean into that pain, but knowing it won’t end unless you do. So I just kinda said go for it, and pushed. Her head, and then her body came out so quickly – at 2:55 my baby girl was born. I caught her and pulled her up to my chest out of the water and leaned back into the tub, and let the wave of relief wash over me. It’s over. I did it. Thank you God!

Unlike her brother, Ruston who was born eyes opened, smiling and quiet. She was mad and didn’t open her eyes for weeks. I remember looking down to confirm this is in fact the daughter I’d been waiting for! She looked just like Waylon to me at first with a lot of dark hair, so I said “she’s going to be a blonde too!” All my blondes were born with dark hair. But so far she’s still a brunette.

Shortly after marveling at her for a bit the pain set in again for the placenta. Once the placenta was delivered, Holden helped Nathan cut the cord and we moved out of the tub into the bed to get comfortable. Nathan did skin to skin with her. Holden sat with me on bed giving me juice and snacks. She latched like a champ right away, and got so angry if we tried to interrupt her. The first few hours postpartum (and days and weeks honestly) were a complete blur. I ate my first meal of the day. Chicken Parmesan never tasted so good. Waylon and Ruston also came up to the birth center to meet baby sister. Seeing all 4 of my babies together at the same time was wild. It literally feels like I just had Holden and then the fast forward button of my life got pushed and then we pushed play and now there are 4!!

Before I knew it hours had flown by and everyone filtered out until it was just my little family of 6. I got in my tea bath with baby girl and did all my discharge information, loaded everyone up and we headed home. I could kick myself for not getting a picture of us as a whole family going home together. She slept the entire way home and the entire night! Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened again.

It took us several days to lock down her name. We just were busy or always with people, so it was hard for Nathan and I to get a moment to talk. Once we did though we narrowed it down to Audrey Renae Bird. The boys had been calling her Birdie for the majority of my pregnancy, so it felt right, but Audrey was the name Nathan and I had planned to use for years.

I’m finally getting a chance to write this all down 1 month after her birth. Some details already feel kind of blurry, but the emotions are all still there. I feel so incredibly blessed to have three boys and now a precious baby girl. I can’t wait to watch her grow and change into who she’s going to be.