In Bloom Doula Services

When I found out I was actually going to be able to quit my job as a teacher and stay home with my boys, one of the things I was most excited about was how I could impact my sons’ learning. As a working mom, my child care situation was not ideal. My 2 year old and infant never left the house, they watched a lot of screen time and weren’t on a regular schedule. They were being cared for by my husband’s grandma and knew they were safe, loved, and taken care of, so I let the survival mode way of living go. But I was scared for how this would impact their development, and tried to cram in all the enriching things I wanted for them in our already busy evenings and weekends. I felt very burnt out, overwhelmed, tired, depleted, sad.

I saw all these stay at home moms doing fun activities, going on day trips and pouring into their children day in and day out, and I longed for that interaction with my kids. I longed for that for my kids. So when I quit my job I couldn’t help but brainstorm all the things I couldn’t wait to do.

You see, the point of me staying at home was to actually be with my boys. I realized though that many stay at home moms are even sending their kids to pre-school. Of course, there are benefits, and if I were working I would want my boys at a pre-school, not just a day care. But paying for pre-school while I am staying home to save money on child care is kind of defeating the purpose of me staying home. I suddenly worried, “will they be missing out? Will they be behind? What about getting socialized?! What will they not get by NOT going to pre-school?”

I have thought long and hard about each of these worries and come up with the best solution possible. As a former teacher I know the importance of education, and I love to plan, and I’m good at it, so I had a lot of fun planning out a great “home pre-school” schedule and curriculum.

In my research and worry I debated a lot about how to go about structuring a home pre-school plan. What would it include, cover, and how would I implement it. I then came across a blog post that basically said all pre-school, even home pre-school is a waste of time. They made some good points, and emphasized focusing on building character instead of academics. Focusing on learning through play as opposed to learning a list of objectives. She said kids have their entire lives to socialize, but not to be influenced 24/7 by their mother with their siblings. It put many of my worries to rest.

I decided I would break up our routine by assigning daily tasks, and weekly tasks. If we don’t get to every daily or weekly task it is fine. And I can tell you now, after 8 weeks of doing this I have never accomplished it all in one day/week. I always end up rolling over to the weekend or trying better next time. I give myself grace and focus on what we did accomplish and not not on what we didn’t get to. I have been home full time with my boys now since June, and I can see tremendous growth in them. They are learning so much, getting to see new things, and thriving in a better established routine.

I figured I would share with others what I am doing; for moms who want some ideas, for moms who like me can’t afford/don’t want to send their kids to a pre-school, but still want to expose them to enriching things and prepare them for school as best they can. Here is the break down of our home pre-school plan:

DAILY

Read, Read, and Read some more:

I love reading to my boys. I taught reading. My mom teaches reading. I just really value the importance of books in every child’s life. It is the foundation of their future education. It helps them develop imagination, empathy, they learn new things, develop vocabulary. The benefits are endless, and I could always tell a difference in my students who had parents reading to them at home, and those who don’t. I tried to pick the pre-4 teacher’s brain at my first teaching job. She told me they strive to read 6 books a day with their 4 year olds. I thought, “well I’m going to read 6 books a day to my 10 month old!” Which began the beginning of my 4/6 rule. I read at least 4/6 books a day with the boys, but usually more. They bring books to me non-stop and we read them over and over and over. I get silly and read in funny voices. I ask them questions like, “Waylon what do snakes say?” or “Holden, what is he feeling?” (pointing to facial expressions of the characters.) You can not read enough to your kid and this may be the most beneficial thing you can do for them.

FREE and OUTDOOR PLAY

Continuing my 4/6 rule, I also try to get the boys to play outside, or independently inside for a good majority of the day. 4-6 hours of the time. Children learn by play. I take them to the park, take them on walks, we go in our back yard, or in our play room. I let them have free reign over what they do. I don’t structure their play to be focused on a particular thing. I don’t guide or influence their play. It is about them acting out what they see and know and using their imagination to entertain themselves. I am sometimes the sick patient with “bugs in my ears.” Or I clean and watch over them. I break up fights, and kiss boo-boos and sing silly songs. Free play is about letting them decide how to focus their time and energy. Blocks, trucks and cars, the sand box, balls, dinosaurs, and the doctor kit are some of our favorites right now.

TABLE TIME

This is about as academic as it gets in my “home school.” I have an almost 3 year old and a 1 year old. It is nonsensical to ask them to sit at a table and do a worksheet (yes, I get the impression that some people do that *yikes*) but I can let them color, use stamps, stickers, sometimes even paint if I am feeling crazy. Table time gets Holden to sit at a table, hold a pencil or crayon to develop fine motor skills, and be creative. I sometimes draw shapes, numbers and letters and ask him to identify them, or trace them. I just let it be fun. If he is resisting I just back off, but that is rare because he usually requests table time and loves to use crayons. I do this for as long as it lasts. When Waylon starts eating a crayon, or Holden tries to color on something other than paper the gig is up and we try again next time. It is usually about 20 minutes and thats really all you can hope for from toddlers anyway.

CHORES

Growing up I had a horrible, entitled attitude about chores. I liked to clean my room, but did not feel like it was fair when I had to contribute to our family’s spaces. I am making an attempt at stopping that before it starts with my kids. Everyday I have Holden help with some chores. Help me unload the dish washer, help me switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer, pick up toys, pick up his plate from the table, help me clean the bathroom (he loves to spray and wipe). I praise him enthusiastically and compliment his great helping, and thank him. I hope to teach him that cleaning is just a part of being in a family. I love my family, so I clean, and he can show his love for his family and home by cleaning too.

WEEKLY

CRAFTS

When I said not everything happens every week, this is one of the things I was talking about. Crafts take some planning and prep, but I find that they are enjoyable when I let go of expectations, and just let it be what it will be. The boys like doing things that are out of the box, so a craft is a good way to let them try new things. I have planned one craft per week throughout December and have them planned to be based around seasons and holidays, which is honestly just so much fun for me. I didn’t really need an excuse, but having toddlers in my excuse to be festive. I am not that creative though, so I got all my ideas from Pinterest.

SENSORY TABLES

Again, all my planned sensory tables are coordinated to the holiday or season at hand, and allllll from Pinterest. Toddlers learn through play and engaging their senses. So, filling a tub with objects that have a variety of textures, colors, smells, sounds, and tastes is a great way for them to learn. It is also a great way to keep them entertained. We have done one each week and the boys absolutely love it. Their favorite is the car wash. I let them play outside with their cars like normal, then fill up a big bowl of soapy water and let them wash their cars. We end up soaked, but its literally 100 degrees everyday here, so I don’t even care.

I got our sensory table from IKEA. It is the coolest table because it can be used for anything while the tops are on, but take them off and buckets fit right inside and can be used for any kind of sensory table activity. I found out about this table through a blog on Pinterest, but her link didn’t work. The table was 1/2 priced on IKEA’s website and I think total the table, buckets, chairs and shipping ended up at less than $100, or very close to it. The table is linked here.

FIELD TRIPS

This can be as simple or as crazy as you want it to be. I tend to keep it simple: indoor play grounds, new parks, splash pads, walking trails, the free day at the zoo. But we’ve also gone fruit picking, to children’s museums, the aquarium, and to the Bluebell factory. I like getting out of the house. Most of those ideas are either free, or very cheap, and if you time it right, you get a great nap afterward. I will probably end up making most of these trips happen on weekends now that I have a nanny gig, but only room for two carseats in my car, but we will survive.

LIBRARY STORY TIMES

Speaking of free, public libraries are a great way to foster a love of reading, FOR FREE. Once the school year begins there is typically a baby and toddler story time set up for the academic calendar. I was so bummed to see stuff like that only offered during the day when I worked, but now I am excited to take full advantage. We go to both the baby and toddler story time, and then play in the children’s area and check out books. This gives the boys a time to socialize with other toddlers and an opportunity to learn from another adult, follow directions and pay attention.

I also enrolled Holden in swim lessons, and will soon put him in gymnastics and then t-ball and soccer to continue to foster those skills. Listening to and following directions from an adult other than my husband and I, interacting with other three year olds are things that he cannot get from being at home. We also go to church each Sunday and send him to the toddler class, which he loves.

BAKING

I like to think of this as our science class. I love to bake, and love to try new recipes, so I try to involve Holden as much as possible in the process of baking new desserts. I do this every Friday, so we have a treat for the weekend. I let him measure some things, and also dump in the ingredients. He gets to stand on a stool and feel like he is making something. This is great on so many levels. He’s counting, following directions, cleaning and helping. I treat this like I treat the crafts; I have very low expectations. It will get messy, flour will get on everything, we will scoop egg shells out of the batter, Waylon will cry. It is what it is.

There are no doubts in my mind that pre-school is the best situation for many children. This is no attack on pre-school, but there is also no doubt in my mind that the best place for my boys is home with me. We only have a short 18ish years to prep our kids for the “real world.” They can socialize and learn about other people and other things later. These formative years are so important and go by so fast. I want my boys to be surrounded by love, reminded of manners and how they are expected to treat others. I want to build that foundation to help make them curious, compassionate, excited to learn, interested in all kinds of things, passionate about reading, and eager to help.

I know I am not a perfect mom, or the most experienced mom, so I’d love to hear what your opinions are on home pre-school. What do you do with your kids? What are some things I should consider? I am happy to hear all feedback and would love to get new suggestions and resources.