In Bloom Doula Services

Today is the perfect day to share our birth story because Jovie is exactly 6 weeks old! The last 6 weeks have been a blur. Being a mom to 5 now, all the holidays and the chaos that brings; I haven’t had a second to catch my breath really. But I figured I needed to write it all down before the little details escape my memory.

My due date was 11/24, a Sunday, which was also my husband and kids thanksgiving break. I had several dreams this pregnancy of going into labor at home alone and him not being able to get home to me in time, so my thought process was if we could make it to thanksgiving break, any day would be good. And we did! So I spent all day Monday and Tuesday resting and anticipating a birth I knew must be so close, just based on my previous birth. Wednesday the 27th, we woke up and Nathan went to the gym to get that out of the way. I slept in with the kids all drifting into my bed throughout the morning. I put on Elf and we watched that, then I got them all up and dressed and ready for the day thinking just in case I go into labor we will have some laundry done, dishes clean and teeth brushed.

Around 11:30 I sat down to eat and had my first contraction. Very mild and short, so I knew it could fade away but I went to the bathroom and lost more mucus plug. I had on and off for about a week, but this time was bloody show, so I knew my cervix was doing something. I had my 40 week appointment the day before and was 3cm. This lead me to believe once labor got going it would happen fast like my other labors.

For the next few hours I had more mild contractions. I started timing them around 12:45 and they were about 5-6 mins apart, but still quite short. I had a bath, a snack, drank a lot, and listened to my music. I hesitated to call it labor just yet because I’d had a few labor signs on/off that had tapered away. I didn’t want to jump the gun, but I called my doula and knew she and my midwife were spending the day cooking for thanksgiving. My vision for this postpartum was to have a baby by thanksgiving and lay in bed snuggling a newborn while eating pie and watching the Friends thanksgiving episodes. I had high hopes it was the real deal now. It was just like most of my other early labors where I’m fine to be alone and manage them on my own. Try to get in a good head space and just get into a groove.

The weird thing is I spent a good chunk of this pregnancy really dreading labor. I was surprised by this pregnancy, and often times felt a little out of control as if this was happening to me, and I think that triggered a lot of irrational fears. Fears of something terrible happening, and the closer I got to the end of pregnancy the more intense those feelings got. Suddenly labor began and I forgot all about those fears. I felt very calm and peaceful while the contractions began to build up. Then finally around 3-3:30 i decided it was time to go to the birth center.

Since Nathan was already home and had loaded the car I only had to tell him to load up the kids and get in the car. Yes, I wanted all the kids there for a few reasons. The oldest two boys wanted to come, and I think that’s so special for siblings to be at births. My younger two I knew wouldn’t know they missed anything, but coming up with a plan for them was a daunting task. It was easier to bring them along.

We got in the car and I remember having one more contraction before I sat down and looking at all these full seats of children and thinking “i can’t believe I’m having another baby.” And this was a thought I had continuously until she was born. I had called my team (midwife, doula, photographer) to meet me at Bliss. The drive was smooth and i honestly don’t remember much of it, or labor at all. We got to bliss at 3:50, and by this point my contractions are 1-2 minutes apart. They are long and they are strong. I’m thinking I’m 6-7 cm. Maybe more. My midwife asks if I’d like a check and I thought “why not?”

I didn’t get cervical checks during labor with either of my others and I was kinda curious to know. I waffle past her family cooking thanksgiving dinner in the kitchen and go to the exam room, get in the table for a check and find out I am only 4cm.

I don’t think I was so much disappointed as I was stunned because I thought “surely I am close!”

My midwife, Trish said “well we’ve got some work to do” before telling me 4 cm, and said to get settled into a room. I went straight to the bed I labored on with Ruston and Birdie and got on my knees to do open knee chest while getting hip squeezes from my doula.

Maybe I just needed to be at bliss to fully relax, maybe I needed the life saving hip squeezes, whatever it was I drifted off to labor land and entered transition almost instantly. I have no clue what my kids or husband were doing, but I labored on the bed for a few contractions and my doula, Kathleen encouraged me to use the restroom. I did and labored a few contractions there before moving back to the bed and hanging into the bed post while standing with more hip squeezes. I started to feel those strong contractions that push baby down and get a little grunty with my labor noises, so I said I wanted to get in the tub. I think everyone was hesitant for me to get in too early being only 4cm, but with the shift in the noises I was making they all agreed. I got in the tub and instantly felt so much pressure. The same thought of disbelief kept running through my mind: “I can’t believe I’m about to have another baby.”

It felt like going from nothing to pushing in a matter of hours and my mind hadn’t caught up with what my body was doing. I held onto the side of the tub and labored there for about 10 minutes and felt the pop of my waters breaking. I said “my water broke” and knew she was so close. It was so intense now I asked God to help me. Thinking about how I never have to do this again. “Labyrinth” by Taylor swift came one, which is the song I’ve kind of dedicated to Jovie came on and I thought this would be perfect for her to be born to. “It only hurts this much right now, lost in the labyrinth of my mind.” It felt fitting in every moment of our journey together through pregnancy and now in labor.

With Ruston and Birdie I spent my time on my knees in the tub, but didn’t like the feeling of trying to get settled on my back after catching them with water sloshing all around. I had told Trish I’d prefer to be in a different position, and as the intensity of the pressure began to build and I could feel her head get lower and lower, my knees began to hurt so I figured I’d try reclining on my back.

The next few minutes after moving to my back I knew she was so so close. Labyrinth ended, but So will I came on which is my favorite labor song and that felt perfect too. Then it was time and it felt so surreal, an out of body experience, all of a sudden I feel the urge to push, and I feel that all too familiar feeling of a baby’s head between my bones and I knowing that I need to lean into that in a matter of seconds and then it was there. The pressure peeked and then the burn, and I said “the head is out.” Trish said “can you give another push?” Since the contraction wasn’t over. I said “it’s too much” and then pushed the rest of her body out. Trish helped me grab her in the water and pull her close to my chest and the relief and love flooded over me. I told her “it’s over, we did it.” But I think I was talking more about pregnancy and the end of a tough experience that felt fearful and challenging for me, more so that the labor itself.

I remember leaning her forward to see her face and thinking “soak this in – you might never get this moment again.” Meeting your baby for the first time is such a sacred moment but it unfortunately doesn’t last long at all, but I’ve had the privilege of experiencing it 5 times and it is always the best moment of life.

At 5:07 pm, just a little over an hour after getting to the birth center, Jovie Bell was born.

I thought she looked like Ruston and I looked at my other kids around me to see what they were thinking about their new sibling. They didn’t know if she was a boy or a girl until birth, so Holden announced she was a girl and Waylon got to cut the cord. Birdie evidently got to help with the Doppler. The birth assistant hadn’t made it there yet since things progressed so quickly Birdie got to participate. When she saw this baby she knew she was hers because she stuck her hands in the tub and said “I hold her?” And she hasn’t stopped begging to hold her since.

The birth was smooth and perfect, but postpartum with all the kids was just about what you might imagine. It was a lot and has continued to be a lot. That is the one thing I would maybe do differently is to have someone take the kids home, but Birdie was so excited and it probably would have hurt her feelings to leave.

We did her foot prints and measurements, our tea bath and ate a chilis triple dipper. I had those dreaded postpartum contractions, but Jovie latched immediately like a champ. Soon it was time to go home, and we walked out to our car with pink Christmas lights all around the birth center, which I thought was the sweetest touch, and a new surprise to me.

My dream of snuggling a newborn on thanksgiving with pie came true, which was so sweet. Kicking off the Christmas season with a newborn and getting to enjoy her during Christmas was the best. It all kind of ties into the Christmas theme that kind of followed her. From her name, to her birthday, to the pink Christmas lights. All a reminder to me that she came at the perfect time even if she was a bit of a surprise.