In Bloom Doula Services

Before I entered the mom world I was well aware of those certain hot topics. The ones that really get people going and seem to be friendship deal breakers. These aren’t just differences of opinions. They are full on moral tell-alls that keyboard warriors feel inclined to educate you on at every turn. You know what I’m talking about: vaccinations or no vaccinations, to circumcise or leave intact, co-sleep or cry it out, breast feed or formula feed,  to be a working mom or stay at home mom, public school or homeschool. In parenthood you are firced to take a side, and while doing so you are automatically (and usually accidentally) shaming the opposing view.

I typically just let those who disagree with me do their thing, and have a ‘live and let live’ menatality when it comes to differing parenenting styles. But when it comes to motherhood, topics like those listed above start full blown internet wars that you can get lost in. If you’re not careful they can really lead you to second guess yourself and leave you feeling like a worthless excuse for a mom. I’m only 5 months in and have found myself defending my bed sharing habit to vocal cry-it-outers. I have been left in rotten moods, brought to tears, and even removed myself from Facebook mom groups over being guilted for being a working mother. I’ve second guessed celebrating my breast feeding success in fear that I will be accused of shaming the moms who formula feed. The truth of the matter is that as moms we are all here for the same sole purpose, which is to love and nurture the lives that have been entrusted to us. As moms we take this task very seriously. We read books, research online, join mom groups and consult professionals. We go out of our way to be the best moms we can be. We may be divided on hot button issues, but we are united by the fact that we are all trying our very best.

We all do what our heart tells us in the best thing for our child. The mom that is making a different parenting choices is still doing just that. We are all fighting the same battle: trying to raise our children to the best of our ability in a world of information overload. Any point can be proven with a different anecdote, theory, article, or statistic. Every mom believes with her whole heart that she is vaccinating or not because it is the best choice for her child. No matter how idiotic or infuriating we find a particular practice. No matter how much we disagree. It is imperative that we handle ourselves in a peaceful way on the internet. The Mom Wars have got to end. We have got to strop ridiculing each other for doing what is right for their own family, child, or for themselves. We have got to stop judging each other when we are all doing the best that we can. If another child’s physical and emotional needs are met, who are we to criticize?

The truth of the matter is children around the world are abused, neglected, abandoned, and starving.Many childeren are without a mother at all. As we speak children are dying from war in Syria. Children are starving to death in Yeman, Somalia, South Sudan and Nigeria.Those are the real wars we should be fighting. Those are the issues we should be dedicating our time and energy to find solutions for. Attacking a mom whose child is fed, warm, and loved is a waste of our time and senselessly defeats a mother who is trying her best. Spending your day online belittling another moms’ choices doesn’t make you a better mom. It just makes you a bitter one. To my fellow momma warriors, deep in the trenches of motherhood, remember we are all on the same side and fighting the same battle.

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