In Bloom Doula Services

There has been a few different, unrelated posts floating around Facebook lately that really speak volumes about the crisis happening in hospitals in our country for birthing women. Part of me was angry to see these posts, but another part of me felt validated. As if to say, “see?! I’m not making it up! Women are being abused during labor and it has got to stop!!” It isn’t happening by strangers, or by husbands- it is happening at the hands of professionals: doctors and nurses, and it needs to be noticed.

The first post I saw was shared by a Nurse Stefan (go follow him on social media!) He was outraged by a bingo game created and played by Labor and Delivery nurses. Please take the time to watch the video (linked above.) Basically, nurses used the game to make fun of patients with doulas, birth plans, pubic hair, among other things. I was quite pissed, but not shocked. I’ve known these attitudes exist. I have experienced it first hand myself. I had a nurse roll her eyes at me as I told her I would labor in my clothes. I was scoffed at when I said I wasn’t getting an epidural. I had a nurse murmur under her breath with a tone of annoyance to another nurse that, “she has a doula.”

WHY would a birth professional want a woman to sacrifice all that a doula and birth plan can offer? Why would she mock something as superficial and insignificant as a woman’s pubic hair during the emotional, spiritual and important event of child birth? How could she degrade another woman’s decision to be empowered, informed, or in control, especially with the state of health care in our country and the poor maternal health rates we face? How dare they challenge what a woman KNOWS is best for her and her baby if that means the support of a doula, or the choice to wear her own clothes, move around at her own free will, manage pain in an alternate way?

Sure when I had Holden I had many of those bingo squares filled out, but I also had a fast, peaceful, calm, and wonderful birth with my doula and midwife (seen above) that supported me and all of my decisions.

Was I a bit more difficult to deal with for nurses? Maybe. They couldn’t continuously monitor me (nurse seen above holding the monitor onto my belly), I was loud, I cussed a few times through contractions, I did things my way, which wasn’t the usual way. Was there push back on my end, advocating for MY body, MY birth experience, MY baby? Absolutely! And I’m thankful everyday for a doula who educated me, helped solidify that confidence to stand up for myself and what I wanted.

Doulas are unlike nurses, doctors and midwives because they don’t work for anyone else, but the mother who hired them. Doulas do not answer to the doctor, midwife or nurses. You have better outcomes for birth; a faster labor, fewer interventions, and less chance of a cesarean when you have a doula by your side. And with that kind of condescending attitude coming from an L&D nurse, your need for a doula is even higher – I can guarantee! Birthing women need support and care, not eye rolls and jokes about their preferences for the most important day of their life or their pubic hair after 9 months of pregnancy. Especially not by care providers who should be looking out for their best interest.

The same day, I saw a post by an OB/GYN. She had a thing or two to say about the “misinformation” being spread about OBs, and wrote a lengthy public post about it, but she did herself no favors. As I scrolled through the comments made in response I was shocked (in the best way) about the feedback she was getting. The post is linked here. I was unsurprised to see that she quickly made the post private, but thankfully screenshots exist!

When I finished reading it I was flabbergasted. There were so many thoughts I had. They went something like this:

• “lady parts?” Why would an OB not say vagina??
• I’ve never seen an OB stay through an entire labor. Maybe they’re there 5 mins before pushing.
• Final call on a cesarean? Yeah many times unnecessarily, I’d love to see your cesarean rate, then maybe you can brag…
• No OBs are trained to pull babies out by their feet. That is an automatic cesarean in the majority of hospitals. In fact, only *some* midwives even are trained to assist a breech birth.
• Yes, you went to med school, but Midwives are equally (if not more) equipped in the delivery room, and to their benefit were nurses before. Nurses spend much more time with patience in labor than an OB ever does. Midwives had invaluable knowledge and experience. Do not degrade or insult the role of a midwife.
• She also came for doulas. Doula’s observe three births to complete certification yes that is true, but we all start somewhere. At one point (probably after she completed medical school) she had only see three births too. Doula’s are NOT medical professionals, and have never claimed to be. Doula’s don’t diagnose, prescribe, don’t do cervical checks, they won’t administer medication or catch a baby even. However, doulas know pregnancy, labor and birth. We develop a deep connection with clients, meeting with them and their partners for hours prior to birth. Doulas will stay with that client throughout the entire labor, and for hours postpartum. Experienced doulas may attended as many as 1,000+ births. They know how to communicate and support a laboring, especially an unmedicated, laboring woman better than anyone.

At the end of the day, all birth workers play an important and irreplaceable role. An OB, midwife, nurse, and doula all complete different parts of the puzzle, and in order to benefit birthing mothers the best way possible, we need to all work together in harmony. If we want women to have the best birth experience wether that be in a hospital, or at home, with an epidural, or without, a cesarean or vaginally; we have to support and respect the mother. We have to support and respect her choices, and if that includes a birth plan and a doula then so be it. Even if that means a harder shift. Even if that means making accommodations you don’t do regularly.

Here I am moments away from meeting Waylon. I had my team: doula, midwife, L and D nurse, all supporting me through the end of labor. They all played a role.

1 in 6 women experience mistreatment during pregnancy and childbirth. That is alarming and needs to be addressed. America has the worst maternal health outcomes in any developed nation. To laugh at a woman who is taking initiative  to better her outcomes, or to discount the role of a midwife or doula is irresponsible. It is wrong. If hospitals want to maintain a good reputation, or it OBs want “doctor bashing” to stop, maybe it is time to change some things.

Leave these attitudes at the door, or leave the delivery room completely. Birth workers need to understand that women are always in charge or their bodies and babies. They don’t lose autonomy, or the right to consent when they walk into a hospital. Birth workers need to adapt to new ways, and welcome doulas into the hospital setting with open arms. We are all pursing the same end goal- a healthy birth for mother and baby. Birth is not just physical. It is emotional and spiritual, so the mental health of the mother is just as important.

Birth may be an everyday experience for OBs and nurses, but it is not an everyday experience for new mothers, and as birth workers we CANNOT lose sight of that. We have to value the weight of how significant and transformative it is every time. We have to do so with respect for mothers, babies and the process of birth.