20 Things To Do Before The Birth of Your Baby
Pregnancy is one of the most exciting times in a woman’s life. The anticipation of a new life joining the world can be fun, but also stressful and overwhelming. There is so much to do and get done to feel prepared for this baby, and if you’re like me, you get nesting stir crazy and look for things to get done to feel like something is being accomplished. Now that I am closing in on my due date I have been trying to cross all my T’s and dot all my I’s when it comes to baby preparations. Before I had my first baby, I felt like my to-do list was never ending, but now with my second, I know what actually helped our family feel prepared. You can search Pinterest and pregnancy blogs for weeks reading redundant check lists of all that moms to be should be doing, but I tried to narrow it down to the essentials. What is absolutely necessary to do when you are expecting? What is the timeline to do each thing, and why should you do it?
The First Trimester
1. Start doing your research!
I would start this process before you even get pregnant, but that is not how the cards fall for all of us. Research types of births, birthing options and locations, and who you’d want on your birth team. Research birth procedures and hospital policies and protocols. Research all about pregnancy and prenatal health. Learn as much as you can beforehand to be well prepared to search for the care provider you want and begin preparing for the type of birth you would like. I am a firm believer in birth plans, I don’t care what anyone says, and you can read more about why I think everyone needs a birth plan in place here: Why You Need A Birth Plan (Even if Nothing Goes According to Plan.)
2. Find a care provider
Next Up, find yourself a care provider. Pregnancy is not an illness; it is a condition, so you have options when it comes to a care providers. Would you like to have an obstetrician or a midwife? Would you like to deliver in a hospital, birth center, or at home? Would you like the assistance of a doula? All of this is kind of the baseline for the beginning of pregnancy planning. If you happen to change your mind, you can always change care providers too. If you are insured you can start your search through your insurance company.
I think of this as kind of like wedding planning; except you are planning a wedding without a set date, that you can’t necessarily control. The earlier you hire your birth team, the better; because birth professionals can get booked up. Just like wedding venues and vendors. If you’d like to find a doula for your birth try doulamatch.net. It feels a lot like hurrying up to wait, but it will fly by! I promise.
3. Set a budget
Having a baby can get very expensive. Hospital bills will make up the majority of these bills, but there are other expenses that come into play. The biggest expenses on my end (after the hospital bills) were hiring a birth doula and birth photographer. You may also need to upgrade your car to a bigger vehicle to accommodate your expanding family. Not to mention saving for maternity leave, or time you may not be making all or any of your paycheck.
Then of course there are the typical baby expenses of the products and things you may need: diapers, a car seat, baby clothes, and all the fun baby products. I have a few recommendations on what is nice to have and what isn’t really needed that you can read here: 13 Baby Products You Need, And 6 That You Don’t
4. Notify your employer and begin FMLA paperwork
Much like setting a budget and finding a care provider, this is best to do earlier than later. Sometimes paperwork and the logistics of it all can be messy. Of course it is important to wait until you are comfortable, or in a good place at work to notify your employer about your pregnancy, but the sooner you get the ball rolling on FMLA stuff, the easier it will be later on in your pregnancy.
I recently wrote about preparing for maternity leave. Everyone has a different set of standards when it comes to maternity leave depending on your employer, your profession and where you live, but getting a clear understanding of the requirements is important. You can read more about preparing for maternity leave here: How to Prepare for Maternity Leave.
5. Start a work out regiment
Having an already established work out regiment makes this one a lot easier to check off of your list because in general with a healthy pregnancy, and under the guide of your care provider, you can continue to work out as usual. It is actually really good for the health of you and your baby to work out throughout your pregnancy. If you are not into working on your fitness, (like me) but want to have the healthiest pregnancy possible there it still hope. Walking and yoga are my go to ways to work out and I find them very helpful as stuff gets a little crazy throughout the progression of the pregnancy.
There are many activities you can begin, although most are low impact, they will make a difference in how you feel. I love watching Apple Yoga on Youtube and also just taking long walks around my neighborhood. Pushing a stroller with a 30 pound toddler in it can get you pretty good and sweaty!
SECOND TRIMESTER
6. Set up a baby registry!
To me, this is when stuff became fun! I waited until I knew I was having a boy the first time, but went hog wild for a daughter before I knew the sex of the baby the second time around. I had to delete many things, but its all a matter of preference when you create a baby registry. Of course I have a blog about creating a baby registry too if you want to read it here: The Pros and Cons of Popular Baby Registries.
7. Start Shopping!
Baby products, and pregnancy products for that matter can be expensive. Buying a little bit here and there as needed, or as your budget allows is helpful to not feel burdened all at once by several big expenses.This pregnancy I tried to cross something off of my to-buy list each paycheck. I got a (used) double stroller and (used) glider for the nursery because I knew that each could cost several hundred dollars and I wasn’t going to hold my breath that my friends and family would gift them to me, either. It helped me feel less overwhelmed and more prepared, plus it is exciting to get ready for the new baby.
8. Tour Your Hospital
If you are like the majority of American women, you may chose to deliver in a hospital. I find it helpful to tour the hospitals labor and delivery unit before hand, so you can see where you will need to go, what it is like, what they have for you there, and begin visualizing the entire birth process. It helped me calm my nerves having an idea of what to expect. Seeing how the rooms are set up and actually being in labor and delivery was exciting. I got to ask all my questions and make a mental plan for what I would need to bring and how labor may go.
9. Take time for your husband, your other children, and yourself
Spending quality time with your spouse before the arrival of a new baby is important. I listed out some reasons why you need to this, possibly in the form a baby-moon in my blog here: 4 Reasons To Go On A Baby-Moon.
In addition to baby-moons and date nights, I have been trying to make a concerted effort to soak in moments with my first born. Just us. Whether it’s a trip to the park in our neighborhood, going to get ice cream after appointments, or just reading books in his room. I want to know I devoted some one on one time to him before I will be busy with his new baby brother. Eventually life will balance out and we will find our new normal. We can still go to the park, read books and have quality time together, but devoting it to him now is important.
You are important too! Self care is a must. I usually do this in the form of blogging and writing, but I also try to work in taking care of my body, taking baths, watching my shows and spending some time with my friends. This doesn’t happen everyday. but weekly I try to make sure I am feeling rested and recharged. I try to make sure I am drinking enough water, taking my vitamins, eating well, and getting sleep on top of everything else. It will not only benefit you, but the entire family too.
10. Take Classes
Childbirth education is a must, but also Infant CPR, infant care classes, even breastfeeding classes are available to take. I think they are all especially important for first time moms to take, but even experienced moms may need a refresher course. I took child birth classes with my doula. It was a 6 week, 2 hours class that covered everything from the trimesters, to stages of labor, to postpartum care, and birth plan writing. I’ve mentioned before that I studied a lot about women’s reproductive health and child birth in my college classes, and am a certified Human Development and Family Studies teacher. I went into these classes kind of thinking I knew it all. I was wrong. So wrong. I am no child birth expert, which is exactly why I consult a doula through out my pregnancies. I learned so much and the information was so useful. Now that I’m in the 9th month of my second pregnancy I am still learning new things, hearing new terminology, and finding out new information. Don’t just do what you’re told in the delivery room though. Go in with information, with questions, and empowered with resources. Birth is not a time to be complacent. It is a monumental experience happening to your baby and yourself; be informed and demand consent.
THIRD TRIMESTER
11. Have a baby shower
I know it is not usually socially acceptable to throw your own baby shower, but talk to your family and friends about the idea, and I’m sure someone will be more than thrilled to host one in your honor. I think every mom to be deserves a shower; to be celebrated, supported, and loved. The new baby deserves to be celebrated and welcomed into an excited family, and lets just be honest- we could all use the financial help of some gifts to help us prepare for parenthood.
There are all different ways to have a shower now days. People often have “spinkels,” or sometimes host their own “sip and see” after the baby is born to introduce him/her into the world. I also love the idea of blessing ways to rally around the mom before birth. Her village comes together to offer her support, prayer, and encouragement as she prepares for labor. Community in invaluable throughout motherhood.
12. Get Maternity Photos Taken
I probably go a little over board with the amount of pictures I take of myself throughout my pregnancies, but it really is only a short season of life. Once it is over you will never be able to recreate or recapture these experiences. I love being able to compare my pregnancies to each other, document changes, and just remember this fleeting time in life. Even if you never share them with anyone, take pictures, journal, film your birth. Have it there for you to see because I can promise that it will fascinate you later on.
13. Register at the Hospital
Speaking of hospitals, before your have your baby at one, you should register. The reason being to save time. You can still have your baby without registering, but you will be filling out a lot of paperwork while in labor, which is the last thing I wanted to be doing. I did register beforehand, but there were still consent forms to sign and things to fill out, so make it easier on yourself and do it ahead of time. It can be a long and boring process, but it is good to get out of the way.
14. Nest
In my opinion, nesting is one of the most fun parts of pregnancy. I love decorating the nursery, shopping for things the baby will need, and folding little baby clothes. But, not all of it it is fun and exciting. Some of it is stressful, like when it comes to my incessant desire to clean things, especially as my due date approaches. I want to be all set to bring this child home at any time. I want to clean, organize, de-clutter, and clean some more. I often times end up feeling restless and will not be able to sit down or relax until whichever task at hand is taken care of. It stresses me out sometimes, and exhausts me, but it is just part of the process I guess. Making our home perfectly ready to go for the baby helps me feel ready too.
15. Pack your hospital bag (by 36 weeks)
There are a million and one lists that all say the same thing about packing a hospital bag. Although it is exciting, I don’t think it is that confusing as to what you should bring. My rule of thumb is to keep comfort a priority, so pack clothing you will be comfortable in, with maybe some extras. Make sure it is breastfeeding accessible, and make sure you have layers in case your room is hot or cold. I would bring your usual daily toiletries, and things like phone chargers, maybe your own pillow or blanket, and of course some clothing for the baby. What isn’t needed are things like underwear, pads, or diapers. The hospital supplies it all for you. I actually really loved the hospital mesh panties; so much so that I requested a few to take home with me. I will show you what is all in my hospital bag in the video linked below 🙂
16. Install the car seat (by 36 weeks)
You cannot take your baby home from the hospital unless you have a car seat. That may be obvious, but if you are not installing it ahead of time, you may make a mad dash to the hospital while in labor and be left with the installation process, and an extra errand on your hands on the day you come home. I know to some it was a breeze, but as a first time mom who had never installed a car seat, or put a baby in a car seat before it all made me very nervous. You can have trained professionals assist you with the process if need be too. If you get it installed and ready to go ahead of time you will be prepared with one less thing to worry about on homecoming day.
17. Prepare for postpartum
Like nesting this can end up feeling tedious. There could be an endless list of things you feel you should do to prepare for postpartum life. Firstly, I would suggest buying things to take car of yourself with. I have a list of must haves that I recommend considering (Postpartum Must Haves). This way when you come home you can relax and have everything you need right there for you. You also may want to set up stations around your house to make diaper changes and breastfeeding easier. I set up all my stations in my first apartment and found it very helpful for the first few months (How Using Stations in the Classroom Helped Me with Postpartum Life.)
You may also want to stock up on freezer meals, groceries, and house hold items so there is no reason to head to the store. At least for the first few days. You won’t have to worry about cooking if you have pre-made or frozen meals. You won’t have to worry about dishes if you have paper plates, and it will just make life easier if everything is already there for you at your house. I also tried to take care of errands that I did not want to be bothered with once I had a baby. Things like taking my dog to the vet, or getting the cars serviced were nice to to have out of the way.
One thing I do to prep for postpartum is to make padsicles. I linked them in my postpartum must haves blog as well, but they are easy to make and handy to have. Use aloe vera, witch hazel and lavender to liberally rub into an overnight maxi pad. Put them in your freezer, and then you have a ready to go soothing ice pad for recovery. It isn’t the most enjoyable experience to wear frozen pads in your underwear, but it is soothing and I think made healing a quicker process for me.
18. Baby proof
One thing that can wait a while is baby proofing, but why not just get it out of the way. Put socket covers in the plugs, locks on the toilet, locks on cabinets and drawers. You can put covers on stove knob, door knobs and remove hazards like strings hanging from blinds. or sharp corners and breakable decor in toddler reach. None of this may be necessary for a few months, but time flies by so quickly and once they are mobile there is no slowing them down.
19. Get your mind and body right
Pray, make affirmation boards, visualize your birth. Not everyone wants the same birth experience, but everyone wants a peaceful one. Getting into the mental, emotional, and spiritual head space to take on something like birth is important. There is no need to fear the process. Trust your body, your baby and your care provider. Focus on the scriptures, songs, phrases, or images that bring you to a place of peace about what will be.
There are things to help you do this too, like Hypnobabies! It is a mediation track that helps you get in the right head space. I will sometimes bounce on my ball, listen to Hyponbabies, drink my red raspberry leaf tea, and let my body relax. I wrote out all about How I Prepared for [an Unmedicated] Birth, but no matter what type of birth you are going for there is advice I think applies to any expecting momma.
20. SLEEP
Not that it is easy to do, but sleep. Lay on the couch. Rest. Binge watch a show alone in peace. Sleep in. Go to bed early. There is no tired like “having a newborn tired,” and I am willing to bet money that it will be even more tiresome now that I have an 18 month old in the mix. But it is a short season. The days are long, but the years are short right?
It’s a lot, but you’ve got this Momma. Being prepared helps, but there is no need to stress. Relax, breathe, and trust the process. Everything will happen, and your baby will be born regardless, and they do not care about the mess. They care about the snuggles with you, so soak them up because they go by way too fast.