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Social media is a bittersweet aspect of my life. I love connecting with other moms via my blog and its respective social media accounts. I love posting pictures of my boys on my personal social media accounts to connect with people I don’t see often, like my grandparents and I do enjoy a lot of things I see i.e. memes and buzzfeed quizes.

On one hand I love social media. I write a blog, which is 90% of my time on social media now. If it weren’t for my blog, I don’t think I’d have such strong feelings about the pros and cons. I could easily block out all the negative and stay within my little happy bubble, but I could not promote my blog posts without social media, so I feel kind of stuck in this social media spider web, if you will. There are many cons about motherhood on social media- the constant comparing of achievements and stages, and worrying literally everything under the sun. I am most recently afraid to sterilize my plastic bottles because I am now afraid to use plastic at all! But the #1 con to motherhood on social media is the constant mom shaming about every single aspect of motherhood. It seems moms like to be offended, and like to be mad. So we take any opportunity to voice that via the comment section. I refuse to engage now, but I can’t say I haven’t before.

I also can’t say it doesn’t effect me because it does. I get mad and my feelings get hurt or I get offended right back and then I write a blog. So here it goes:

Sorry I’m not sorry for breastfeeding in public, without a cover, and 6 reasons why I don’t, and won’t use a cover while I breastfeed.

1. My babies are HOT

I live in southeast Texas, and I currently have a summer baby. Both of my boys get very sweaty and uncomfortable while just wearing a normal amount of clothes. There is no way I will put another layer over them to cover their face. You try drinking or eating with a blanket over your head in August, and tell me how it is.

2. My babies want to make direct eye contact

If you have never breastfed a baby you may be surprised to learn that it can be a very important part of the day for  both mom and baby. My sons are almost immediately soothed once they are nursing, and I can easily end that by interfering with their ability to see me. I have tried to use covers, so I know that Holden did not like it. He wanted to be able to see me and look into my eyes. He even reached up and grabbed my face to look back at him when I have looked away. He wants to see my face, so in turn he would fight the cover; batting it away, pulling it down or off, and you are much more likely to get flashed that way as opposed to when I have a clam baby using my two shirt method.

3. I use the two shirt method

Speaking of, I use the two shirt method. A cover is redundant. I wear a tank top, or nursing bra with a shirt I can lift up and sandwich my boob in between. The baby latches on and my entire boob is covered by a shirt. People don’t even notice and boom- cover unnecessary.

4. Breastfeeding isn’t offensive, so I don’t care if you are “offended”

I am simply feeding my son. He is eating the way God intended. God created my body to be able to feed, nourish, comfort and soothe my children, and I make no apologies that they exist in this world. I am a human who has to go to the grocery store, to Target, to restaurants, to church, and my baby comes with me most of the time. There is a good chance he will get hungry while we are at one of those places and I have only one way to feed him. I will not pump and bring bottles for the approval of strangers. (Because yes, I have seen Facebook mom suggest inappropriate women, like myself, could easily pump and bring a bottle.) They must not understand how breastmilk and pumping, or how life in general works.

I have no need to defend or explain myself, but I will lay it all out: I pump at work, and have done so for a while now. I don’t have magical breasts that have breastmilk on tap- I can’t always pump a sufficient amount to take with us every time I leave the house. I don’t always leave the house in a planned out fashion, with 20 minuets to spare prior to leaving to pump milk into a bottle. What I do pump is used to feed my son while I am at work, and I use every opportunity to actually breastfeed him when I am with him. Additionally, many breastfed babies, including my own, refuse a bottle when being breastfed at all, but especially from their mother, so no, I will not pump and bottle feed in order to leave my house. I also can’t predict when my infant may want to eat. I have a pretty good idea, but there is no guarantee that he may get hungry in a two hours, an hour or in 30 minutes.

5. America needs to grow up

Boobs aren’t offensive plastered on the mall walls outside Victoria Secret. Boobs aren’t offensive on billboards, in beer commercials, and in bikinis at the beach. But my mom boobs are offensive when I use them to feed my screaming, hungry baby? America is one of the only places in the world that views breastfeeding with such a stigma. I’ve heard every excuse in the book:

“Nobody wants to see that!”

“There are children around!”

“There could be weird perverts that are into that kind of thing!”

“You wouldn’t pee out in public!”

I can tell you right now, I want to see it. I want to see it everywhere. To normalize it, to encourage it. To support it. I want to see it around my children so they may view it as normal, and encourage and support their future wife and daughters when they are grown. I want them to be able to respect a woman’s body in ways other than to be oogled at like preteen boys. Yes, breasts can be sexual, but breastfeeding isn’t sexual, and therefor there is nothing to shield my children from. My oldest isn’t even two and he knows boobs are for eating- he points to me while Waylon is crying and says “eat.”

And the fact that breastfeeding is STILL, in 2018, being compared to bodily functions such as urinating… is just mind blowing. I have been directed to pump in a bathroom TWICE. Let me ask you this, would you like to eat or have your food prepared in a bathroom? I wouldn’t, and I refuse to subject my child to that. Additionally, breastmilk is nothing like pee. It is nourishment and life giving. Pee is waste and if you think a mom should breastfeed in a bathroom- know we are not friends.

6. It is NORMAL

I breastfeed in public, and do so without a cover; not to make a statement, but because it is simply what works for us. Because I choose to breastfeed, because my babies get hot and want to see me, and don’t like the cover. Because I can’t be bothered to remember yet another thing to bring out with me, and I would rather stay home than pump in order to leave my house. Throughout my entire breastfeeding journey I’ve not once been confronted by a stranger for my “indecency.” I have however seen comments on comments shaming moms who breastfeed for “rubbing it people’s faces,” “shoving down people’s throats.”

It wasn’t until this year, 2018, that breastfeeding publicly was legally protected in all 50 states. So no, breastfeeding is still not the norm. Some people still think it is gross, controversial, impolite, and even confrontational. I don’t breastfeed without of cover to ruffle feathers, but I do it with the intent of defending myself and every other women’s right to if need be.

This blog post in my one huge statement, or response to the commenters, but I can promise you that in the 10 minuets that I spend breastfeeding in public my thoughts are never on the people around me, but on my baby and how I can meet his needs as easily and smoothly as possible. In fact, I can promise you that no mom is thinking about the people she’s trying to offend, the husbands she’s trying to seduce, or the children she’s trying to rob of their innocence. Most new moms are hastily trying to get it over with as soon as possible and as discreetly as possible, and when you criticize and shame her for breastfeeding in public, with or without a cover, you are indeed criticizing breastfeeding in itself. You cannot support breastfeeding if you do not support it happening wherever babies may be.

A cover is a woman’s choice, whichever makes her and her child most comfortable. For me it is just more trouble than it is worth, but I support all nursing moms to nurse however they see fit, and wherever they see fit.

Although I have never been confronted by a stranger, I have been confronted by my own family. I have had some family members make comments like “there is a blanket here if you need it,” or suggest that I go in another room for MY privacy. I always politely decline.

If you are wanting to be around me or my baby, you’re gonna be around breastfeeding and it’s going to happen frequently. I prefer to be modest, but I also don’t believe I need to be hidden in a guest bedroom, or hide away in my own house to avoid uncomfortable squirms. I never grew up around breastfeeding, and had never seen a woman breastfeeding in person before I did so myself. When I became a mom I just knew breastfeeding was for us. However, navigating breastfeeding around people who are uneasy about it can be intimidating. Support and encourage the breastfeeding mothers in your life.

Motherhood has made me pretty brave, and one of those things I’m not afraid to do is feed my child whenever, wherever I may need to. Sometimes normalizing breastfeeding isn’t doing it all over social media, or in public places; it’s in your own home in front of friends and family you’d otherwise be afraid to offend, breastfeeding in front of your other children so they grown up knowing it is normal, healthy, natural and beautiful. I want my sons to grow up knowing that the women in their life may breastfeed their children and there is nothing offensive about it. 💗